The Power Of Social Media And Forming Relationships

Tags

love, relationships, social media

The power of Social Media has gained popularity since it’s inception. The ability to communicate with the masses instantly gives someone the ability to update his/her status and have followers. Take Facebook, now you can keep track of you high school buddies and people that you wouldn’t consider your best friend but you don’t mind seeing what they are doing.This also is true with past relationships. We can reconnect with people we have once dated, keep up to date with current relationships they may be in and see their family’s grow. So what happened to me? I found someone that I once dated years ago and connected with them on social media. This as created a whole new relationship type for me, one that I am not used to and one that I am trying very hard to adapt to. See, she lives in Colorado ( My Home State ) and I live in North Carolina. So even though it’s only a plane fly away, it’s still a very unconventional style of relationship. One in my opinion that takes a lot more work and one that is the hardiest. We take for granted to ability to look at your partners face when they are happy or sad. Here you have a phone or Skype and it’s not the same. The ability to touch, kiss and hug is removed and reserved for the short period of time you have with your partner when you see them.

Updating your status and posting tags on your Facebook site is part of the fun. Chances of you having a good following of Facebook is pretty high. I am talking about your core friends or family. These people actually like to see you improve and care what you post. They follow you and your life everyday and even though they live in different states you can communicate on a daily basis with stories or pictures. Take my recent status update where I changed my relationship status from single to “In a Relationship”. People that truly care will give you a positive response and back you 100%. Now you will always have some that are not as receptive to what you are doing  but for the most part you will get a positive following. Then you will have some that feel they have the right to express there opinion even it’s negative. Now, I feel that you can since I am the one that initiated the post but don’t expect to be my friend for to long. We don’t like negative post especially on status updates. I feel that if you have a concern it should me a message sent not one blasted on something you feel good about. You will always have some that view what you are doing as abrasive, fast, spontaneous and even crazy. Shit maybe you are, but people that have those concerns shouldn’t doubt you in front of the many that care about your success. If you have a lot of friends then you want the positive vibes to be thrown not the negative ones.

So lets talk about my new adventure. For those who have read my past stories know that I have been through a lot. I haven’t dated in many years and for once in a long time I am happy. I took a chance and messaged this person out of the blue. I dated her over 16 years ago and now we have been dating since November. The weird and scary part of this relationship is we have reconnected on the same level we left on. It was as if we never skipped a beat and both of us have jumped in with both feet. The biggest obstacle is distance. Having a passionate relationship kinda gets hindered by distance. Like I have stated above, the ability to kiss and hug and see emotion is something that you need in a relationship. We are both scared because we have similar stories. She was cheated on like I was and her scar is more recent then mine. Plus the only option we have is for to move out here. My custody agreement states we have to live in NC so I am stuck here until they are in college. Her boy is already in High School and at least is open to the possibility to move.

So How do I feel about her? Well I could come up with a ton of additives to desribe my emotions and feelings. I know that my focus and attention has been on trying to make this relationship work. For once in a long time I have the Butterflies in my stomach when I see her, touch her and kiss her. When I see myself years from now I see her and her boy with me and my kids. I think about her constantly and I know that I have strong feelings for her. We have already said the “L” word and we constantly are looking for songs and poems to express what we feel. I am constantly thinking about her and wondering what she is thinking and doing. We fit sexually, the best I have ever had, and both of us talk and think about it all the time. I am scared!!!!! I am scared that I will loose her. I scared that all of this time and emotion will end in a heart break. But, all relationships have the same caliber of worry to them. The start of any relationship has these thoughts, it just takes time to gain trust that your partner is investing the same amount of time and emotion into the relationship. I know that that us being this far apart is a short period of time in our lives. Even though it is hard and sometimes un bearable, we have to work hard to keep us going. I feel if we can make it through this long distance then our relationship will have a huge foundation, one that is un breakable. One that is different then any other relationship I have ever had and I so want to know what that feels like. I know that my soul is happy and I feel that this relationship is right. Even though I am scared i know she is as well. I know that both of us have to work very hard to keep this going. I am glad I jumped in with both feet and absolutely wouldn’t change a thing. I feel that things happen for a reason. I know that something made me take a chance to write her. I look at that decision and I know that it was the right one. I feel that one day we will be together everyday and I can’t wait.

So conclusion to this story. Social Media and building relationships has been new to me. Something I believe our generation does on the regular basis. Like in the olden days where one would take the time to write a letter to their loved ones, we know express our love through social media. Granted it’s not the same in how personal it is compared to a letter, but the feelings are mutual. Our generation likes instant gratification and and social media fills that void.

One Week Down

So I have made it one week with my new life and workout. I am sore and consistently trying to talk myself out of working out. The best part is, I have a great friend that helps me stay motivated and enjoys my company. I have also downloaded My Fitness App. This app tracks your calorie intake and it has the best selection of food places I have seen. It has been tedious and at first a pain, but now I use it all the time. I like the fact that I can see what I am going to eat based on the calories that I can have. The app track how many calories you can have based on how much you weigh and how much you want to lose. So now I am starting my next week and I am looking forward to it. I have lost 4 pounds so I can see the results. I have even went to restaurants and found the healthy food that taste good with lower calories. My fears were I that I would do this work and not see the progress. The 4 pounds are probably just water but at least it’s a start and at least i feel better. All in all I am still struggling with working out and eating right but I am on the right path. It was much easier to quit smoking than eating right. We are bombarded with fast food and over eating that we have to make the right decision to eat right. It also cost more to eat healthy; fast food and processed foods cost cheaper and can go further when feeding a whole family.

So I have started portion control…. The first step I took was a smaller plate. Looking at the amount of real estate on the bigger plate compared to the smaller plate was tough at first. The second was portion control. I make sure I still get all the great food that is served but just in smaller portions and I make sure they all fit and none or over hanging. You can still over eat even with a smaller plate and really when it comes down to it that is what really makes you gain weight and leads to me third step. SLOW DOWN and SNACK before dinner. When we sit down to eat lunch or dinner and we are starving we tend to eat more . This slows down your metabolism and allows your body to store fat. Eating smaller meals throughout the day reduces your chances to over eat. Last but not least EXERCISE!!!. I have started 9Rounds a kickboxing 30 minute program. It is structured and I like that. I need structure when it comes to working out. Some people like the gym and some like doing it themselves I needed someone to kick my ass and that is what this place does.

 

More to come this week.. Stay Tuned

Weight Loss Hell

So I have decided to jump on the Healthy eating train, along with a workout. Now I have attempted this in the past and I am hoping that I keep with the workout longer then the Y. It has been 4 long years since I have quit smoking and since then I have gained more weight. Take in consideration that I have also had a life changing occurrence happen when Rachel decided to leave, I gained weight more because I didn’t care how I looked. Depression set in and took a hold of me, making me care less about all of the good things in my life. To add more fuel to the fire, my family ( MOM and AUNT ) were effected by Rachel’s decision and all of us lost the desire to eat healthy. This led to all of us making poor decisions when eating. I often wonder how we compare the better of two evils. You take smoking and we all know how bad smoking can be to our health but at least most people can keep a decent weight hen smoking. If you gain weight like I have then you run into the other major issues like diabetes and high blood pressure and these two things ultimately shorten your life. My problem, it was easy to quick smoking but it’s hard to eat right. We are bombarded with quick box meals and buckets of chicken along with fast food. It is easier to just eat out then to cook a healthy meal at home. Add in the cost of healthy food compared to un healthy and it becomes easier to eat un healthy.

Now comes the fun!!!!

Working out is essential to weight loss. It helps balance blood pressure and keeps your metabolism high to maintain a healthy weight. Now that being said when you are starting a new workout after taking a fast food induced coma for a few years, working out sucks!!!!! You are soar and like smoking the first few weeks are the most critical when making the decision to keep going or to quit. Every morning I have woke up to get ready for work and I can hardly even wipe my ass let alone walk to the bathroom. I have started a new type of workout called 9 Rounds. It introduces kickboxing into the workout. I like it because I hate lifting weights and like I have stated in the past, when you have been away from working out like I have it all sucks. That being said, the workout is a great challenge and it takes the NORM of working out in a different path. You workout for 30 min with 9 stations 3 minutes each and in between the stations a cardio workout. The last time I decided to have a workout plan I joined the YMCA. I stuck with it for a about a month, but it lacked discipline. Like quitting smoking you have to wrap your mind around the fact that you have to quit for you and nobody else. With working out you have to do it in pain and I can assure you the thought of quitting had come across my mind more than a few times. It is harder to add in the fact that all the food you have ever loved is bad for you and working out will make you soar and hate the fact you are fat. It takes a while for you to gain weight but it takes even longer with a lot more work to lose the weight. Stay tuned I will have more to come on this challenge

 

Mike

Apple Fan Boy

Tags

Apple, Steve Jobs, Tech

I have been called an Apple Fan boy because I am a non Google believer. I also worship the ground Steve Jobs walks on because with out him cell phones and how we interact with electronic equipment would be different.

My first computer was an Apple back in the 80’s. You ether were an IBM er or and Apple, and even then people were bad mouthing people who had apple. I remember schools having Apple computers over PC in the early 90’s because Apple pushed convenience and how easy it was to use. Soon the PC took over and Apple was gone. It wasn’t till the mid 2000’s that Steve Jobs would change the computer and cell phone industry, and make it better and easier for people to communicate.

Today as I sit and write this blog with my MacBook pro, I amazed how easy it is to use. When you compare it to the new windows operating system ( Windows 8 ), you will notice the simplistic operating use an Apple has over a new PC.  PC’s still control the market. You have so many different PC makers trying to compete for your business. Apple keeps it’s operating system in house and they are the only company making their products. So it takes a lot of people buying their products to make a difference in the world compared the the PC. even then you still see the tables turning with the younger and older generations. No longer are you seeing major PC consumer sales, you are seeing Apple prying in on the PC sell, and appealing to the younger and older generation.

One of the many Steve Job’s quotes ” It Just Works” really does apply to most Apple products. I had a discussion with my co worker, and he asked why I haven’t changed from Apple to a Google device. I will admit that Google had made leaps and bounds to be competitive with Apple in the cell phone business, but when it comes to a well built device and how the device looks and works, Apple still takes the cake. I am also integrated into the Apple life.  I have all of my Apple products synced and with the cloud I have my photos and music anytime I need them. It would be to hard to switch now and to be honest it would have to be pretty ground shaking for me to switch products. At one time I thought that I would switch back to windows, then linux, but I have decided to stay with Apple. The experience you get with Apple you can’t match with any other operating system. When it comes to phones, i want simplistic gestures and minimal distraction. I want an operating system that never needs to be re booted or freezes. I hear about Google phones running out of memory and also freezes. The only way to fix it is to re boot the device.  I am sure the newer phones are getting better, but I am still not sold on switching.

I am curious to see what John Ive does with IOS. Scott Forestall designed IOS and now that he has been let go, it will be interesting to see what shape Apple chooses to go. They to know that Google is stealing some market share from them, and that they need to get people to switch back. Apple lead the way to new products that changed the way we interacted with them. I have faith that Apple once again will come up with something totally different and make us “Think Different”

Social Media Now and Then

Tags

Tech, Then and now

Social Media…….

      So the other day I posted about my adopted brothers suicide. My mother couldn’t believe that i would post something that personal on the internet. This is true to some extent, I mean,  it was personal, and It took me years before I could even put something together.  I tried to explain how things have changed in social media. They think it was a lot simpler before the internet and shit even the TV. I am not sure if it was simpler, I mean you couldn’t just find anything you wanted when you wanted it back in the day. You actually had to go to the library and hope that someone has written something on the subject you are looking for. So I think it was harder back in the day before the Internet. Now, I do feel that it’s to easy for us to find the answers to whatever we need. Our cell phones are mini computers and now you don’t have to go the the library to find the information you are looking for.  So lets take a look at social media..

     What is social media? I think social media is information transmitted to the masses in any form. So, really the paper would be the first form of social media. It is still one of the biggest forms of social media we have today. I would say the telegraph would be next and then the radio. Now this is where my family sees it being simpler. We were watching the Christmas Story and when the kids hovered around the radio for Little Orphan Annie, it brought back memories for them. Maybe because I am a TV baby, but the radio was a different form of social media. Un like the paper, the radio could transmit to the masses as it was happening. Really no different then the internet now, but it was new and different compared to the paper.

     I asked my family, would it have been different if the TV was invented before the Radio? How would things be different then today? QUIET in the room>>>>>> Sure the radio was a form of information where you had to use your imagination when a story was being told. Think back to the radio, we still get information that is happening at that moment. The weather, road conditions and traffic are just a few things but mainly the news is what is said every 15 minutes. A lot of people herd about the school shooting in Conn.  from the radio or September 11 on the radio before they saw it on the internet. The radio is still the fastest source of social media we have today.

    Facebook is a site where you can reach thousands of people and let them know what you are doing at that second. You can see updates from people that you know and even people you don’t know. The Facebook algorithm also sets you up with the people you know with their friends to see if you know them. It is the new form of mass social media. Companies are now promoting themselves with Facebook pages, new agencies are using Facebook to keep you updated with the world events. Most businesses have a Facebook page. It is a great family tool if used right. You can show your kids growing up and holiday pictures to your friends and family.

    Twitter is another form of mass communication. This is usually no more then 30 to 50 words that let (Followers) know what you are doing. You can keep a fan based up too date if you are band, or you can send coupons to the masses if you are business. You van also let your family and friends know what you are doing in a short Tweet. Both Facebook if used right and for the right purpose, they are an awesome tool of social media for us to use.

 

Hot Pink Underwear

Someone I dearly loved died this week.

After I found out she had passed, I turned invisible. Creatures around me became their own planets, rotating in separate orbits. Someone turned down the earth’s volume knob and the little pilotman in charge of keeping our world spinning slowed everything down.

The squirrel outside my car window acted like he couldn’t see me. I guess maybe he didn’t. But I saw him, and that made it worse because he was doing something important. It was obvious. He was focused and alive. The brown hairs on his back shivered. His tiny dark nails scratched the asphalt as he crossed in front of me.

Inside my car planet, I turned up the music, but familiar song lyrics took on new meaning.

“As many times as I blink I’ll think of you…I swear I won’t forget you.”

Everything reminded me that she was gone.

I drove…

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Let’s Start This post off with the past

This will be my first blog. I am getting my inspiration from my cousins Julie and Jennifer. I figure this would help me get my frustration on paper a hopefully make me feel better about this new path of my life. I moved to North Carolina a year and half ago too be closer to family. My kids were getting older and I wanted them to have to be close to this side of their family. I remember growing up, my mom and aunt would take me to Kentucky. There, the whole family would meet up and we would all be together. These were treasured memories and I knew that when Papa died, it would be a challenge to keep the family together. So we packed the houses up and moved to North Carolina. Now we are closer to the family and my kids will have the opportunity to be with their cousins. Since all of my cousins are having kids, it seems to be the right time for us to be out here.

Shortly after arriving here in North Carolina, the most destructive news hit all of us. Rachel had decided to move on from our family and start another life with someone else. While mom and I were packing the house’s up in Colorado, Rachel was falling in love with someone ( Patrick ) in Pennsylvania. So for the next year and 20,000$ in attorney fees, Rachel and I proceeded to come to some kind of child custody arrangement. She wanted half time with the kids and after a year of having 5 or more days a week, I wasn’t about to give that much time to Rachel. Plus, I felt that she needed to feel that she hurt us ( Mom, I, and Gaynell ).

Rachel and Mom were close. When I met Rachel, she didn’t know anyone in Colorado Springs. She had just got out of the military and was going through a divorce from her first husband Mike. So, mom and her quickly became good friends and eventually became best friend( So we Thought ). Mom really helped us out with the kids when Rachel was going through school and when I was working in California. when I was eventually laid off and I to went back o school, mom stepped up and helped with the kids. Rach and I were in school at the same time and needed that extra person to help with dinner and over nights with the kids.

Before Maddie was born and Rachel was pregnant with Maddie, we changed as a couple. Things became more distant and how we saw each other changed. It happened to both of us and ruffly at the same time. I knew that something was wrong with Rachel. She has stopped talking to me about things that were wrong. We became angry at each other and the little things started to irritate us. During one of the check ups for Maddie I ran into an old fling. Shortly after that she friended me on Facebook and we started talking about the old days and how our lives had changed since we had las talked. eventually we were talking everyday and it was nice. I could really get a lot of my chest and I felt great that I could relieve a lot of this frustration I had with Rachel. By this time Rachel’s mom had come to stay with us because Rachel was having a hard time with Maddie. She was supposed to be on bed rest and I was still working. Truth is, Rachel was still doing a lot around the house and her mom just sat around and smoked cigarettes.

I started to talk to this old fling more and more. An offer landed in my lap to work in California for a year. The money would be great and I knew that my time with INTEl was limited. By this time I had been talking to my old fling for a few months and Ii thought that I wanted this to go further. Rachel and I had still been going down hill fast between us even faster that her mom was in town. I went over too my old flings house and almost pulled the trigger. I stopped myself because I saw my family flash in front of me and I saw what I would loose if I would continue down this path. I left that house never to return and I truly believe to this day that I am changed man because of what I almost had done. I have never been that close to committing to do something so wrong. I came home and started to see a different side of myself. I wanted to change how Rachel and I committed and really rebuild this relationship. I talked her into counseling and for a while I thought we were on the right track. It seemed that I was wrong and she had other plans…..

Now, court is done and Rachel and I are trying to figure out this next part of our lives. We are both moving in separate directions pulled together by the kids. No matter how different Rachel and I are, we still have to come together and work together for the kids. I had mentioned Patrick in the above post. Jacob and Maddie really like him. I have yet to meet MR. Patrick. I know that I will have to at some point, but right now I still can’t wrap my head around meeting him. I know that at some point I too will meet someone and I am sure it will be weird for Rachel to meet her especially if I decide to marry her. My biggest problem with Patrick isn’t that fact that Rachel is now with him, it’s he helped in making me decide when I can now see my kids. I have a 6 days now when I don’t have me kids instead of the luxury of seeing them everyday.

So I do what I know best, and that’s just take one day at a time. I know that the kids and I will adjust to the new schedule. I know that at some point the kids and I will see each other more. I know that they know that I love them. I try everyday to make sure they know how much even if it’s just a prayer. Well, lets see how far these post go…. It’s good that I have decided to do this but at the same time I am vulnerable to peoples opinion. Even though I am very outspoken person I am very guarded when really knowing something about me. I know that I am not perfect and I know that I have some blame for why I am in this position. Rachel and I were on our way out years ago and we both didn’t try to save our relationship. What I do know is; se could have broken away from us in a better way.